What is Domestic Violence?

What is Domestic Violence?

In essence, domestic violence is the violent form of domestic abuse which is controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners. Carers who are family members can also be perpetrators.

And anyone can be a victim of domestic abuse or violence, regardless of gender, age, ethnicity, socio-economic status, sexuality or background. There is no distinction between heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or transgender relationships in domestic violence/abuse. The abuse or violence can continue after the intimate relationship has ended.

The ill treatment, lasting over an extended period of time and rarely a one-off incident, can take several forms.

These behaviours through which a perpetrator exerts power or control over another person are regarded as coercive control:

  • Sharing sexually explicit images of a partner, online such as ‘revenge porn’, or elsewhere;
  • Restricting access to money, as the law prohibits breadwinners from stopping their partner from having money or giving them punitive allowances;
  • Repeatedly putting down their partner, such as persistent name calling, mocking or belittling them;
  • Making a partner obey the perpetrator’s rules, without, for instance, giving the partner a say in decisions;
  • Controlling what a partner wears;
  • Stopping or restricting a partner from seeing friends or family,perhaps by monitoring or blocking their calls or emails, telling them where they can or cannot go;
  • Scaring a partner by, for example, making angry gestures, using physical size to intimidate, shouting the partner down, destroying their possessions, breaking things or punching walls;
  • Threatening to reveal private things about a partner, such as details about their health or sexual orientation;
  • Putting tracking devices on a partner’s phone, maybe to monitor their social media messages or check where they are;
  • Being extremely jealous by constantly accusing a partner of cheating by simply looking at another person; and
  • Forcing a partner to do things they don’t want to, which could be as serious as commit crimes, neglect or abuse their children.

Much of coercive control is also emotional abuse, which can also include a perpetrator:

  • Blaming a partner for the abuse or arguments;
  • Denying abuse is happening, or playing it down;
  • Stopping them going to college or work; and
  • Making unreasonable demands for their attention.

This covers the perpetrator doing one or more of:

  • Destroying possessions which belong to their partner;
  • Standing over them or invading their personal space;
  • Reading their emails, texts or letters;
  • Threatening to hurt or kill their partner; or
  • Threatening to harm or kill themselves or the children?
While people are stalked or harassed by strangers or acquaintances, the behaviour can be a form of domestic abuse too. Stalking is a pattern of unwanted, fixated or obsessive behaviour which is intrusive, and causes the fear of violence or serious alarm and distress to the victim. Following, watching or spying on someone, or forcing contact through social media, can be considered as stalking. Harassment relates to repeated attempts to impose unwanted contact or communication with someone, causing the victim distress or fear.

This includes slapping, hitting, punching, pushing, shoving, biting, kicking, burning, choking, holding down and throwing things at their partner.

This covers perpetrators touching their partner in a way they don’t want to be touched, making unwanted sexual demands, pressurising their partner to have sex, hurting them during sex and pressurising them to have unsafe sex. Also, as the Home Office bluntly states in its advice on the subject: “If your partner has sex with you when you don’t want to, this is rape.”
If it is appropriate a prohibited steps order could prevent someone from taking a child away from your care and control. The solicitors we refer your case to will determine if this is a recommended course of action.
This is a collective term for a range of procedures which involve partial or total removal of the external female genitalia for non-medical reasons.

Any of the above also applies when perpetrators of the abuse or violence are family members or carers. Family members are mother, father, son, daughter, brother, sister, grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins whether directly related, in-laws or step-family.

The final word goes to the Crown Prosecution Service: “Domestic violence is a crime. We all have a role to play in bringing domestic violence to an end.”

By Fiona Bawden, Times Online (8th May 2007)

“Steve Connor, a student at City Law School, is a man on a mission. Six years ago he was a fairly directionless 27-year-old. Today, as well as taking the Bar Vocational Course, he is chairman of the National Centre for Domestic Violence, a ground-breaking organisation that he dragged into existence after a friend could not get legal help to protect her from an abusive partner.

Connor’s route to the Bar has been circuitous. In 2001 he returned from a year in Australia (he says that he would not dignify describing it as a gap year), and took a job as a process server in South London. The job (“I just saw it advertised in the paper”) was not quite as dull as it sounds. On one occasion he was threatened with a machete, on another, he was nearly stabbed by a man he had arranged to meet on Clapham Common to serve with a non-molestation order: “He’d seemed really friendly on the phone…”

The turning point in his life came when a friend, who was being abused by her partner, turned to him for support. Connor went with her to the police. She did not want to press criminal charges so the police suggested that she visit a solicitor to take out a civil injunction. “We must have seen 12 solicitors in a morning. We just went from one to the next to the next to the next. Everyone was very eager to help until we sat down to fill in the forms for the legal aid means test,” he says. The woman, who had a small child, did not qualify for public funding. But, Connor says, her financial situation as it appeared on paper did not bear any relation to her financial situation in reality. “She had a part-time job and she and her partner owned their home. Yet she didn’t have any money. Her boyfriend was very controlling and controlled all the money; he kept the chequebooks and didn’t let her have access to the bank account.”

The injustice of the situation got under Connor’s skin. “I just couldn’t believe that there was no help available to people who did not qualify for public funds but could not afford to pay.

I just kept feeling that this must be able to be sorted if only someone would address it.”That “someone” turned out to be him.

In 2002, thanks entirely to Connor’s doggedness, the London Centre for Domestic Violence was formed. It started out with him and a friend, but is now a national organisation, covering 27 counties, and has helped approximately 10,000 victims last year to take out injunctions against their partners.

NCDV now has nine full-time staff, 12 permanent volunteers and has trained over 5000 law and other students as McKenzie Friends to accompany unrepresented victims into court. We have also trained over 8000 police officers in civil remedies available regarding domestic violence. The National Centre for Domestic Violence (NCDV) has branches in London, Guildford and Manchester and is on track to have branches in 16 areas within the next two years.

NCDV specialises exclusively in domestic violence work and could be characterised as a cross between McDonald’s and Claims Direct. The high degree of specialisation means that its processes are streamlined: clients can be seen quickly and the work is done speedily and cheaply. “Sometimes, we will have one of our trained McKenzie Friends at a court doing 10 applications in one day,” Connor says.

Clients are not charged for the service. NCDV staff take an initial statement: clients who qualify for legal aid are referred to a local firm; those that don’t get free help from the centre itself. It runs on a shoestring, heavily reliant on volunteers and capping staff salaries at £18,000 a year.

Steve expects to qualify as a barrister this summer and hopes that having a formal legal qualification will give the centre added clout. “We are already acknowledged as experts and consulted at a high level, so I thought it would be helpful if I could back that up by being able to say I’m a barrister,” he says. He is just about to complete a one-year full-time BVC course at the City Law School (formerly the Inns of Court Law School) and, all being well, should be called to the Bar in July. Although Connor sees his long-term future as a barrister, he says that he has no immediate plans to practise. “I want to get NCDV running on a fully national level. Then I may take a step back and have a career at the Bar.”