Breaking the Cycle: Why Men Can Be Overlooked as Victims of Familial Abuse

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Male victims of domestic abuse are too often overlooked, misunderstood or expected to stay silent. Breaking the Cycle is a six-part series of blogs written by our Training Team Manager, Julia Gatie. In them she challenges the myths, explores the stigma men face, and reinforces one vital message: anyone can experience abuse, and everyone deserves support.

This blog, the third of the series, discusses why male victims of domestic abuse may go unrecognised within patterns of familial violence.

 

Breaking the Cycle: Why Men Can Be Overlooked as Victims of Familial Abuse

When we talk about domestic abuse, the focus often centres on intimate partners. However, abuse within families, between parents and children, siblings, or extended relatives is also a significant and often hidden issue.

Recent data from the Office for National Statistics (ONS) reinforces a crucial truth: familial abuse affects both men and women across all age groups, and its impact can last a lifetime.1

The Scale of the Issue

Domestic abuse remains widespread across England and Wales. The latest ONS figures show that:

  • Around 3.8 million people aged 16+ experienced domestic abuse in the year ending March 2025. 2
  • This includes approximately 2.2 million women (9.1%) and 1.5 million men (6.5%).3
  • Importantly, 2.7% of adults experienced abuse from a family member (not a partner) in the last year. 1

While abuse by a partner is more frequently reported, these figures highlight that family-based abuse forms a substantial part of the overall picture and is often even less visible.

Who Is Most Affected? Age Matters

One of the most significant findings in recent ONS data is the relationship between age and risk.

  • Individuals aged 16 to 19 and 20 to 24 are significantly more likely to experience domestic abuse than older age groups. 4
  • Nearly 1 in 5 young people aged 16 to 19 reported experiencing domestic abuse in the last year.4

This is particularly relevant for familial abuse. Younger individuals may still live at home or remain financially or emotionally dependent on family members, making it harder to leave or seek help.

At the other end of the spectrum, older victim/survivors (especially those who rely on family members for care) may also face abuse that goes unreported, often due to fear, isolation, or dependency.

Understanding Familial Abuse

Familial abuse can include:

  • Emotional or psychological abuse (manipulation, humiliation, control)
  • Physical violence or threats
  • Financial exploitation
  • Neglect or coercive control
  • Abuse linked to caregiving or dependency situations

Unlike partner abuse, familial abuse can involve complex power dynamics. For example, adult children abusing parents, or parents exerting long-term control over young adults.

Gender Differences: Similarities and Misconceptions

ONS data consistently shows that women are more likely to experience domestic abuse overall and are more likely to experience severe or repeated harm.

However, the data also confirms that:

  • Men make up a substantial proportion of victims—around 1 in 3 in some datasets. 4
  • 1.5 million male victims were recorded in a single year. 4

In familial abuse contexts, male victims may be particularly overlooked. Cultural expectations about masculinity can make it harder for men to identify themselves as victims, especially when the perpetrator is a parent or sibling.

At the same time, female victims may face increased risk of coercive control and repeated abuse, highlighting the need for gender-informed but inclusive support systems.

The Hidden Nature of Familial Abuse

Domestic abuse is widely recognised as underreported,5 and this is even more true for abuse within families.

The reasons why many cases never reach the police or other formal services include:

  • Loyalty or emotional attachment to family members
  • Fear of breaking up the family unit
  • Dependency (financial, emotional, or physical)
  • Shame or stigma
  • Lack of awareness that behaviour constitutes abuse

For young people, the challenge is even greater as they may not yet recognise abusive patterns as unacceptable or know how to seek help.

Long-Term Impact

The effects of familial abuse can extend far beyond the immediate situation. Victims may experience:

  • Mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, or trauma
  • Difficulty forming healthy relationships later in life
  • Substance misuse or coping behaviours
  • Ongoing vulnerability to further abuse

A recent ONS Crime Survey for England and Wales published in 2024 found early exposure to abuse increases the risk of experiencing abuse again in adulthood.6

Moving Forward: Awareness and Action

Recognising familial abuse is essential to building a more effective response to domestic abuse overall. This means:

  • Broadening awareness beyond partner relationships
  • Targeting younger age groups with education and support
  • Ensuring services are accessible to both men and women
  • Creating safe, stigma-free environments to speak out

Professionals, organisations, and communities all have a role to play in identifying signs early and offering support.

Final Thoughts

Domestic abuse does not only occur between partners. It can exist within families, across generations, and behind closed doors.

The latest ONS data reminds us that young people are particularly at risk, and that both men and women experience abuse in significant numbers.

By recognising familial abuse and addressing its complexities, we can take an important step toward protecting individuals, strengthening families, and breaking cycles of harm.

National Services

If you are a man affected by domestic abuse, please reach out for help and support:

If you are in immediate danger, call 999.

 

References

1  Domestic abuse in England and Wales overview – Office for National Statistics

2  3.8 million people subject to domestic abuse in the last year |

3  Data about domestic abuse – SafeLives

4  Domestic abuse victim characteristics, England and Wales – Office for National Statistics

5  Domestic abuse prevalence and trends, England and Wales – Office for National Statistics

6  Abuse during childhood in England and Wales – Office for National Statistics

 

 

Julia Gatie

Julia Gatie is Training Team Manager at NCDV, where she supports the coordination and delivery of training across the organisation. Her role helps ensure training is consistent, effective and aligned with NCDV’s standards and best practice.

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