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    Intimate Terrorism

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    Intimate Terrorism


    I heard the expression, Intimate Terrorism, a few months ago. An interesting one isn’t it? When I first started my career in domestic abuse, I attended a training course called ‘Domestic Violence – Awareness & Practise’. This was way back in 1998 when we didn’t use the word ‘abuse’.

    There were a couple of exercises on that day that has stuck with me throughout. One of them was this…

    We were asked to call out to the trainer ways in which we thought prisoners of the Second World War, were treated. How they were tortured, both physically and mentally. The trainer wrote them on a flipchart. There were many examples. The examples, we all agreed were shocking and we all felt a sense of horror that prisoners of war could be treated in this way. She then moved on to the next part of the training. After lunch, she then asked us to call out ways in which perpetrators of domestic violence/abuse treated their partners. She wrote them all on a flipchart. Again, there were many examples. She then got out the piece of flipchart she had used when we had done the prisoner of war exercise in the morning. She stuck it on a wall, next to the exercise we had just completed on domestic violence/abuse.

    You know what I am going to say, don’t you?

    They were identical! She then posed the question. Why are people so shocked and horrified at the treatment of prisoners of war, yet don’t feel the same way about the violence and abuse that people experience from a person who is known to them and who claims to love them!??

    Let’s break the expression down.

    If we google the words Intimate and Terrorism, this is what we commonly see written…

    Intimate = Closely acquainted; familiar. Private and personal. Of a very personal and private nature.

    Terrorism = The unlawful use of violence and intimidation, especially against civilians. The calculated use of violence creates a general climate of fear. To bring about a particular political objective.

    Do you see the connection? If you subscribe to my blog, it means you have an interest in this issue, so you probably can see the connection, but how many people do you think actually think about this? I mean, really think about this.

    The types of torture, violence, abuse, brainwashing, and intimidation used in the act of terrorism are the very same tactics used by abusive people towards their partners. Do you think if people realised this, they may understand the dynamics and complexities of domestic violence and abuse better?!

    Perhaps, in 2023, we could make more of an effort to educate others and raise awareness. Getting people to really understand is something we can all do.

    Sharon Bryan
    Head Of Partnerships & Development Of Domestic Abuse Services

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    By Fiona Bawden, Times Online (8th May 2007)

    “Steve Connor, a student at City Law School, is a man on a mission. Six years ago he was a fairly directionless 27-year-old. Today, as well as taking the Bar Vocational Course, he is chairman of the National Centre for Domestic Violence, a ground-breaking organisation that he dragged into existence after a friend could not get legal help to protect her from an abusive partner.

    Connor’s route to the Bar has been circuitous. In 2001 he returned from a year in Australia (he says that he would not dignify describing it as a gap year), and took a job as a process server in South London. The job (“I just saw it advertised in the paper”) was not quite as dull as it sounds. On one occasion he was threatened with a machete, on another, he was nearly stabbed by a man he had arranged to meet on Clapham Common to serve with a non-molestation order: “He’d seemed really friendly on the phone…”

    The turning point in his life came when a friend, who was being abused by her partner, turned to him for support. Connor went with her to the police. She did not want to press criminal charges so the police suggested that she visit a solicitor to take out a civil injunction. “We must have seen 12 solicitors in a morning. We just went from one to the next to the next to the next. Everyone was very eager to help until we sat down to fill in the forms for the legal aid means test,” he says. The woman, who had a small child, did not qualify for public funding. But, Connor says, her financial situation as it appeared on paper did not bear any relation to her financial situation in reality. “She had a part-time job and she and her partner owned their home. Yet she didn’t have any money. Her boyfriend was very controlling and controlled all the money; he kept the chequebooks and didn’t let her have access to the bank account.”

    The injustice of the situation got under Connor’s skin. “I just couldn’t believe that there was no help available to people who did not qualify for public funds but could not afford to pay.

    I just kept feeling that this must be able to be sorted if only someone would address it.”That “someone” turned out to be him.

    In 2002, thanks entirely to Connor’s doggedness, the London Centre for Domestic Violence was formed. It started out with him and a friend, but is now a national organisation, covering 27 counties, and has helped approximately 10,000 victims last year to take out injunctions against their partners.

    NCDV now has nine full-time staff, 12 permanent volunteers and has trained over 5000 law and other students as McKenzie Friends to accompany unrepresented victims into court. We have also trained over 8000 police officers in civil remedies available regarding domestic violence. The National Centre for Domestic Violence (NCDV) has branches in London, Guildford and Manchester and is on track to have branches in 16 areas within the next two years.

    NCDV specialises exclusively in domestic violence work and could be characterised as a cross between McDonald’s and Claims Direct. The high degree of specialisation means that its processes are streamlined: clients can be seen quickly and the work is done speedily and cheaply. “Sometimes, we will have one of our trained McKenzie Friends at a court doing 10 applications in one day,” Connor says.

    Clients are not charged for the service. NCDV staff take an initial statement: clients who qualify for legal aid are referred to a local firm; those that don’t get free help from the centre itself. It runs on a shoestring, heavily reliant on volunteers and capping staff salaries at £18,000 a year.

    Steve expects to qualify as a barrister this summer and hopes that having a formal legal qualification will give the centre added clout. “We are already acknowledged as experts and consulted at a high level, so I thought it would be helpful if I could back that up by being able to say I’m a barrister,” he says. He is just about to complete a one-year full-time BVC course at the City Law School (formerly the Inns of Court Law School) and, all being well, should be called to the Bar in July. Although Connor sees his long-term future as a barrister, he says that he has no immediate plans to practise. “I want to get NCDV running on a fully national level. Then I may take a step back and have a career at the Bar.”