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    Surviving Domestic Violence

    Surviving Domestic Violence: A Simple Guide To Breaking Free

    We are so proud and grateful to be able to share the work of Diane Wilkie and her book Surviving Domestic Violence – A Simple Guide to Breaking Free.

    Diane is a freelance writer and author; she also has expert Domestic Abuse credentials having spent eleven years at a busy refuge where she helped many women and children fleeing abuse in their homes, she was also a victim of abuse herself.

    Diane has generously allowed us to use her book and the wealth of information and resources detailed within it with the hope it inspires and pushes victims to get the help and support available to them.


    Episode 10

    Signs & Symptoms Of
    Domestic Violence: Part 7

    Reading Time < 4 minutes

    In part 7 of the signs and symptoms of domestic abuse, Diane discusses human trafficking, forced marriages & stalking.

    Surviving Domestic Violence 1

    Episode 9

    Signs & Symptoms Of
    Domestic Violence: Part 6

    Reading Time < 5 minutes

    In episode 9, part 6 of the signs and symptoms of domestic abuse, Diane discusses honour based abuse & female genital mutilation. 

    Surviving Domestic Violence 2

    Episode 8

    Signs & Symptoms Of
    Domestic Violence: Part 5

    Reading Time < 6 minutes

    In part 5 of the signs and symptoms of domestic violence, Diane talks about psychological (mental) abuse.

    Surviving Domestic Violence 3

    Episode 7

    Signs & Symptoms Of
    Domestic Violence: Part 4

    Reading Time < 5 minutes

    In part 4 of the signs and symptoms of domestic violence, Diane discusses financial and sexual abuse.

    Surviving Domestic Violence 4

    Episode 6

    Signs & Symptoms Of
    Domestic Violence: Part 3

    Reading Time < 6 minutes

    In part 3 of the signs and symptoms of domestic violence, Diane discusses verbal and emotional abuse.

    Surviving Domestic Violence 5

    Episode 5

    Signs & Symptoms Of
    Domestic Violence: Part 2

    Reading Time < 10 minutes

    Diane talks about the different signs & symptoms of domestic violence with part 2 looking at physical abuse.

    Surviving Domestic Violence 6

    Episode 4

    Signs & Symptoms Of
    Domestic Violence: Part 1

    Reading Time < 3 minutes

    Diane talks about some crucial questions to ask yourself when it comes to the signs and symptoms of domestic violence.

    Surviving Domestic Violence 7

    Episode 3

    Why On Earth Do Women Stay In Abusive Relationships?

    Reading Time < 3 minutes

    Diane discusses the reasons why women stay in abusive relationships.

    Surviving Domestic Violence 8

    Episode 2

    Why Write a Book?

    Reading Time < 4 minutes

    Diane talks about her reasons for writing this important guide.
    Surviving Domestic Violence 9

    Episode 1


    Reading Time < 3 minutes

    Mark Groves our CEO explains how the collaboration came to be.

    Diane Wilkie

    Diane Wilkie is a freelance writer and author. Her books include The Only Arranged Marriage, (The authorised biography of Raj Jarrett, Surviving Domestic Violence (a manual helping victims to break free) and Knocking on Heaven’s door. (A self-help book on prayer). She has also co-written Run for your life, (a fast-paced exciting African mystery novel, full of intrigue and suspense, as well as Trouble in Paradise an (action-adventure romance).

    She loves to transport her readers to a place where absolutely anything is possible. She helps them believe that using inner strength, they can conquer difficult things regardless of the challenges and their human limitation.

    She lives in Birmingham UK with her husband and twin teenage boys.

    By Fiona Bawden, Times Online (8th May 2007)

    “Steve Connor, a student at City Law School, is a man on a mission. Six years ago he was a fairly directionless 27-year-old. Today, as well as taking the Bar Vocational Course, he is chairman of the National Centre for Domestic Violence, a ground-breaking organisation that he dragged into existence after a friend could not get legal help to protect her from an abusive partner.

    Connor’s route to the Bar has been circuitous. In 2001 he returned from a year in Australia (he says that he would not dignify describing it as a gap year), and took a job as a process server in South London. The job (“I just saw it advertised in the paper”) was not quite as dull as it sounds. On one occasion he was threatened with a machete, on another, he was nearly stabbed by a man he had arranged to meet on Clapham Common to serve with a non-molestation order: “He’d seemed really friendly on the phone…”

    The turning point in his life came when a friend, who was being abused by her partner, turned to him for support. Connor went with her to the police. She did not want to press criminal charges so the police suggested that she visit a solicitor to take out a civil injunction. “We must have seen 12 solicitors in a morning. We just went from one to the next to the next to the next. Everyone was very eager to help until we sat down to fill in the forms for the legal aid means test,” he says. The woman, who had a small child, did not qualify for public funding. But, Connor says, her financial situation as it appeared on paper did not bear any relation to her financial situation in reality. “She had a part-time job and she and her partner owned their home. Yet she didn’t have any money. Her boyfriend was very controlling and controlled all the money; he kept the chequebooks and didn’t let her have access to the bank account.”

    The injustice of the situation got under Connor’s skin. “I just couldn’t believe that there was no help available to people who did not qualify for public funds but could not afford to pay.

    I just kept feeling that this must be able to be sorted if only someone would address it.”That “someone” turned out to be him.

    In 2002, thanks entirely to Connor’s doggedness, the London Centre for Domestic Violence was formed. It started out with him and a friend, but is now a national organisation, covering 27 counties, and has helped approximately 10,000 victims last year to take out injunctions against their partners.

    NCDV now has nine full-time staff, 12 permanent volunteers and has trained over 5000 law and other students as McKenzie Friends to accompany unrepresented victims into court. We have also trained over 8000 police officers in civil remedies available regarding domestic violence. The National Centre for Domestic Violence (NCDV) has branches in London, Guildford and Manchester and is on track to have branches in 16 areas within the next two years.

    NCDV specialises exclusively in domestic violence work and could be characterised as a cross between McDonald’s and Claims Direct. The high degree of specialisation means that its processes are streamlined: clients can be seen quickly and the work is done speedily and cheaply. “Sometimes, we will have one of our trained McKenzie Friends at a court doing 10 applications in one day,” Connor says.

    Clients are not charged for the service. NCDV staff take an initial statement: clients who qualify for legal aid are referred to a local firm; those that don’t get free help from the centre itself. It runs on a shoestring, heavily reliant on volunteers and capping staff salaries at £18,000 a year.

    Steve expects to qualify as a barrister this summer and hopes that having a formal legal qualification will give the centre added clout. “We are already acknowledged as experts and consulted at a high level, so I thought it would be helpful if I could back that up by being able to say I’m a barrister,” he says. He is just about to complete a one-year full-time BVC course at the City Law School (formerly the Inns of Court Law School) and, all being well, should be called to the Bar in July. Although Connor sees his long-term future as a barrister, he says that he has no immediate plans to practise. “I want to get NCDV running on a fully national level. Then I may take a step back and have a career at the Bar.”